Wedding Wednesday - The Other Other White Meat

Well, it's finally time that I can reinstate another Wednesday tradition (you know, besides shopping)...it's Wedding Wednesday!

Just to recap...when we last left off, my handsome boyfriend had proposed to me (complete with getting frenched by our dog mid-proposal), we had introduced the two sets of parents. About eight months later, wedding preparations and partying is in full swing...we had the bridal shower of the century, followed by not one, but two bachelorette parties, one of which included a sailor hat and some drunken Lonely Island sing-alongs.

So, before we jump into all the glitz and glamour and food poisoning that was our wedding, I want to take you back to those last few weeks of planning. We had booked our vendors, shelled out our deposits, settled on a menu, and started on a playlist. Our loft had been taken over by DIY projects and I had a stack of reciepts from Michaels as thick as a small Yellowpages. Even though I was ridiculously anal attentive when it came to all the little nitty-gritty details, one or two managed to slip by me.

Like the time I implied we'd be cannibalizing small children at our reception.

Ok, a little back story for you...the typical wedding in South Florida runs you (at the low end of the scale) approximately $35,000. The hubs, nor I, could stomach the idea of shelling out that much money for a single day (regardless of how important that day was), so we set about trying to find ways to cut costs, but still keep our wedding classy and elegant. One of the ways we cut a big chunk of cost from our budget was DIYing nearly every aspect of our weddings, from the invitations to the flowers to the garter. I literally had DIY projects coming out the ass (well, not literally...that would be rather awkward) for about ten months solid.

One of the projects we DIYed was our wedding invitations. I had fallen in love with the look of pocketfold invitations, and seeing as most of our guests would be coming in from out of town, we had enough information that we had to enclose in the invitation (accomodations info, driving directions, website address, etc, etc) that doing pocketfolds would be appropriate for us and worth shelling out a little extra dough on.

I ordered the pieces and parts (I'm sorry, but if I had tried to make my own pocketfolds themselves, I would have lost my everloving mind), designed the invitation and all the inserts, printed them all, cut them all, and put them all together. They turned out beautiful, I couldn't have been happier.

It all started one night when I gave one of my bridesmaids her invitation. She had been helping me put them together and stuff them in envelopes, but it had gotten to be such a mechanical process at that point, she didn't really look at any of the components until she opened her own invite. She looked at it, ooohed and awwwwed over it, and then she pulled out the response card. And promptly busted up laughing.

She called our friend Brian over, who was there to man-bond with the hubs over Megaman 3 and Castlevania, and handed him the card. He glanced it over and busted up laughing.

So, what the hell is so funny, you ask? Well, here, take a look for yourself:

Pretty response card, huh? Now take a little closer of a look:

Yep. We accidentally implied we would be eating children at our wedding reception, rather than offering a children's meal.

::insert repetitive headdesking here::

Seeing as the invitations were already sealed, stamped and on their way to places all over the country, there was nothing we could really do about it. We just had to wait it out and see what kind of snarky comments our friends and family would come back with, if they even noticed it at all.

I would say, at least to my knowledge, most people didn't even notice. The ones that did made sure we knew about it. I had inquiries as to whether or not child was best served medium or medium rare, and what kind of wine would go best with seared child, or if they could get their child marinaded in teriyaki sauce. I even had one friend call me Dr. Lector for several weeks.

But hands down, I think the best response came courtesy of my aunt, who enclosed this card in with her response:

That's right folks. Baybeh...it really is the other, other white meat.

Intro image courtesy of Claudia Oliver Photography. Other image courtesy of Crushable via Google Image.